Tagged with #unicorncat #notheydont #nidsicorn #cats #catsincostumes #idonteven #catstagram #yaylife #costumecat #kittycat #lol #instacat #nids #wtf #unicorn #lolcat #mythical #kitty #cat #mythicalcreature #unicornhornforcats #costume #catsloveit
The mystical Nidsicorn! My ASM got me a Cat Unicorn Horn! Nids did not seem to love it as much as I do! This was actually one of the better pictures, after I took it he started spazzing out to trying to take it off. Nids : “Mama, NO!” :T #Cat #kitty #KittyCat #Cats #Catstagram #Instacat #Nids #Unicorn #Mythical #MythicalCreature #Nidsicorn #CatsInCostumes #CostumeCat #Costume #UnicornHornForCats #UnicornCat #CatsLoveIt #lol #NoTheyDont #WTF #IDontEven #Lolcat #YayLife
Tagged with #cute #kittens #kittycat #kitty #cat #nids #blackcats #kitten #neko #blackcat #adorable
Clean little kitty toes! #Nids #cat #kitty #KittyCat #kittens #kitten #BlackCat #BlackCats #cute #adorable #neko
Tagged with #Final Fantasy #Final Fantasy VII #Final Fantasy 7 #Cloud #Twat #Aeris #Shinra #Video Game #RPG #FF7 #FFVII #I don't even
I am a very immature person, this just happened as a result.
Tagged with #WTF #I Don't Even
I was cleaning up files on my computer and found something… Something I don’t really remember writing. I am one of those people who can wake up, think their awake, do things, fall asleep and not remember any of it. Over two years ago I was having trouble sleeping, a friend of ours liked to have get together where she would read horrible porn from the internet.
I’m pretty sure the following happened because it was 3 am, I couldn’t sleep, and I wanted to make something horrible enough to impress people with how stupid of a shit I am…
:T I am sorry @life.
Harry Potter frowned in concentration. He had never tried to use his penis instead of a wand before but had heard it worked much better as a magical device. So there he stood, in front of Drago Malfoy, his member throbbing in the wind. His face heated with slight embarrassment since all he had on was a shirt and robe, along with the patented Gryffendor tie. They had come to dual but he was the only one without pants.
"NAKEDOUS PLINGIMOUS!" he yelled, trying desperately to wiggle his shaft in the appropriate circles with thwangs and pangs jutting the ways he needed for the spell to work. Much to his supprize a stream of magical cum exploded forward, flying magically through the air and plastering itself on Dracos clothing. The jizz glittered and sparkled before making a fizzle pop in which the young mans clothing hissed and vanished.
Drago smiled wickedly. ”So you’ve managed to master at least the basics of Cock Conjuring have you?” his squint was deadly as he rubbed his hands together and slathered them up and down his own peepee. ”Now let me show you what I can do!” and with that the young magician muttered an incantation, his penis springing to life and lengthening to the size of a football field. ”PONYCOUS WHORIMOUS MAXIMOUS!” And with a splouge worthy enough to bring down the house, a waterfall of seamen emerged.
After it had subsided, draining out into the sewers, there stood a naked Applejack. The sexiest of the my little ponies but in no way was this filly a horse. She was now one of those fucking prick ass annoying bitch hybread pony girls that everyone on the internet wants to fuck the shit out of and dress up as like dumb ass tard fuckers. She stood on erect nipples but still had a tail at the base of her butt, like a dumb shit.
"How ya’ll doin?" she drolled out. She looked like she could really use a cup of tea.
I… I don’t even… I am to sleepy… so very sleepy but I can’t sleep…. don’t judge me… I just wanted to try to make horrible porn like the internet people do…
I wont lie, when I read this a few minutes ago I cried and felt so horrible I knew it needed to be shared with the internet.
Also I am now currently re-reading Harry Potter so this makes things slightly awkward…
Tagged with #Game'in #Final Fantasy VII
Starting things off right, I forgot once again, that O is select and X is cancel! *ttly pressed X twice* :T
I sent this picture my friend and she said Titties’s 7th Heaven would be a FANTASTIC strip club name! :D
- There’s a &$#% Room
Tagged with #tv
Woke up way to early for a Saturday morning, it’s not uncommon for me to get up around 7 but 6am? Really brain? Slept well at least. Usually when this happens I’ll check cable for cartoons, yup, 32 and my favorite thing to do on a Saturday morning is still to watch cartoons. I was about to change the channel, without even paying attention to what was on, because usually Cartoon Network has Teen Titans or the HUB Network to hit up whatever they may have (I wont admit it openly but I watch the new My Little Pony when its on.
Before I could hunt any cartoons this morning I found a new show to love: Must Love Cats!
John is the host, he basically has the job of traveling around the world to pet, stare, love, hug, and cuddle cats.
W T F! Why do I not have this job? I can travel! I can cuddle! I love kitties! Okay, so he can make up random songs on his guitar and that probably saved the show a ton of money but, I could do everything he does without music involved!
- Cat Cafe's! Secretly it is my goal in life to visit one.
- Station Master Tama this fat cat’s existence PLUS some fantastic themed marketing revived a dying station.
- The Cat Taxi wasn’t really a main feature, they just showed it when John was on his way to Cat Island but the thing was decked to all hell with Lucky Cat’s
- Cat Island there was a tsunami that ravaged Tashirojima Island but the people were saved because that cats sensed the tsunami aproching and they all ran for high ground. If you see 100 cat’s all running in the same direction, it’s a good idea to follow because they defiantly know something you don’t, though I would be scared that they were all running to attack the Mouse King (from the sewers of Eternal Sonata)
When John was on Cat Island one of the people he was interviewing someone the man said “Be careful, you are entering the Black Cat’s Territory, like it was a gang, just like in Tokyo Jungle! Love that game!
- Lincoln County Jail in Nebraska actually has three cat’s in the men’s section. I can’t remember the names but the Orange one was fisty and liked to play fetch, Tabby was a fat old man who just chilled and cranked at people, and Tuxedo was chill. They help the inmates not be depressed, have structure, responsibility and something to love. What a nice idea!
- The jail sent John to pick out a cat for the women’s ward since the program was doing so well. He picked out this weirdo looking fat cat who was lovable and happy purr purr all the time. The women seemed so damn happy to have a cuddle buddy! They named it Big Papa which is hilarious to me! He is now their king!
- Squeek Mouse app I think I’ve seen online before, but it was cute to see cats playing with it
- Paint Version was the same as the Squeek Mouse app where they smack the mouse except this time it leaves paint splashes where their feet hit the tablet. They showed how well it worked by using KITTENS! So fucking adorable!
- Ipet Companion a website you can log on to in order to play with pets in a room, basically you make a feather duster wiggle or something. It’s a cute idea and I’ve been on sites like that in the past but almost every time I’m on those sites the cats and kittens don’t seem to care :T No kitties wanna play with me even over the internet!
- Apparently in big cities there is something called High Rise Syndrome where cats fall out of apartment windows on high up floors. It is thought that the cats, even with their impeccable balance, get to caught up in hunting birds or prey. They get so into it they don’t realize there’s no ground and fall!
- G fell 20 floors in a NYC high rise onto concrete and survived, yay sixteen year old black cat!
I swear to this guy has a fantastic job, he annoys me a little because he reminds me of a young Will Ferrell. He must have known somebody at Animal Planet and slept his way to the top! What a whore!
"Chicogo the windy city, I call it the kitty city!" -John
Tagged with #The Avengers #Movie Time #Avengers #Movie #Blog #a Spectacular Occurance #Captain America #Tony Stark #Iron Man #Hulk #Loki
Do you know what sounds like a great idea? Breaking onto the set of The Avengers 2 and trying on everyone’s costumes!
I totally want to rock Loki’s helmet so bad!
I’m really glad that Agent Coulson got to be the leader of his own SHIELD team on TV. It would be so fantastic if his team showed up in the second movie, just as like a tiny background cameo!
The first time watching this I don’t think I realized exactly how many fricken attractive people are in this movie. Captain America, Tony Stark, Thor and Loki, all are nice eye candy. I lean towards Loki because of the whole powerful bad boy thing. Speaking of, he just had the most wicked bad boy smirk on screen just now. I still really want to try that helmet on, feel like I should go to Hot Topic just to try it on. The problem with that is if it made me happy I would want to buy it, and as it is I already wear and over sized Portal hoodie.
And of course, with Iron Man comes rock music!
Next up for a grand entrance, Thor! Mmmm, I did not appreciate Thor last time, but now that I’ve seen him more, I do appreciate his actor.
Brotha, what are you doing?
Brotha, I love you.
Brotha, why wont you be gay with me and fatha?
BROTHA, WHY DID YOU EAT THE LAST OF THE GREEK YOGURT?!
They love each other so much. Aw! Thor is like an energizer bunny! He smacked his energy hammer at Iron Man and power leveled the tin can up to 400%! That’s nice.
This movie makes me want Iron Man and Captain America to date. Is that strange? Like, I really want them to banter a bit, Cap can head off to sulk and then Iron Man can go tease him more and they can just make out for the next four hours. Sounds like a fantastic idea to me! :3
Tony and Bruce are just science BFF’s, I refuse to let them date.
Oh Tony, I think your my second favorite character. He’s not a bad boy but hes a sarcastic narcissistic jerk, which is apparently very hot to me.
I really need to play Marvel Lego some more, it’s super spot on, especially the bridge. I need to look closely to see if I can find a man playing Gallaga because one of them totally was! :T
Huh, if you search Loki on Etsy they have some interesting things. There’s Tesseract Necklaces, nifty. Some bows, rings, necklaces, a skirt, shoes, even corsets?
Pffffft! Back in the movie everyone is yelling at Nick Fury about making weapons and he points at poor dumbass Thor and blames him, Thors to dumb to defend himself so he just stands there all muscles and derps at them. o3o
Hawkeye is on the scene! I forgot he existed.
Banner is having green PMS all over, he was gonna backhand pimp slap Natasha Romonoff! Like a man!
There is a lot of stuff/people fall off this flying airship, I feel bad for the people whose houses they’re flying over.
I’m gonna have to call it a night after this fight scene and finish watching this tomorrow :x
Update: I wrote the above on November 9th, it is now November 17th and I still haven’t finished watching it! This is my life! This is how I roll!
Tagged with #Game'in #Final Fantasy VII
Final Fantasy VII
When I read the Hunger Games and they talked about 13 Districts I couldn’t help but think of Final Fantasy VII. It was very hard to wrap my brain around the concept that it was completely different. The Hunger Games divided up North America, FFVII was just a HUGE ass city cut into sectors.
I was never a huge groupie of VII but it holds a lot of nostalgic value. The first time I played it was around the age of 18 I think. I remember having it on the computer (First game I had on the computer, legaly purchased from a store to! So weird!). You know the part right after Aeris dies? Cloud goes insane and Tifa stays with him to spoon feed him porage or some shit while he drools on himself in a wheel chair? Thats how far I got. On a damn train, a timer counting down, only party members available were Cid, Vincent, Yuffie, Caitsith (maybe) and probably Barret (none of which I had even USED at that point, cept Vincent. I had a crush on him) My stress level would rise hire and hire as I kept getting into fights!
Walgreens had a game magazine, it had FFVII on the cover and while Mom was doing god knows what in Walgreens for an hour I hunted and absorbed every piece of knowledge I could get, I actually wrote down on my hand how to get Vincent! Remember, smart phones didn’t exist at this piont, it was still the time of the Beeper!
There’s a point in which Cloud snowboards or something, and all I know is I was trying to do this part the very first time I was getting internet installed. Damn, a time before internet, that sentence makes me feel old as fuck. A pudgy lil fatty fat awkward girl playing Final Fantasy VII while some collage dude was hooking up internet and trying to talk to me about the game.
Oh the memories.
Fact: when someone texts me, a little “kupo” sound goes off on my phone.
Pfffffft, the opening to this game is glorious. Their attempt to show off the stars in a 3D way is beautiful. Honestly, in a sick way, it’s really amazing. The train in the station, everyone’s weird polygon arms and heads. the pixelated glory that is Clouds non-existent ass.
I’m already contemplating what I want to name these people. We all know their real names so I want to make it somthing good, something grand. Like that time I lied and told Garnet in FFIX that a ‘dagger’ was called a ‘penis’, then I stopped playing for a year. When I started again I got to the point where Garnet wants to reinvent herself and says “What was the name of that thing I used to cut my hair again? A ‘penis’? That’s what I want to be called! Call me ‘penis’ from now on!”
Someone in this game will probably be named penis. I’m a sucker for a stupid immature name joke.
What? What is this nonsense, using O as a select button? X is supposed to be my select! My mojo is totally thrown off now! ANALOG DOES’T WORK! O M F G! THIS GAME WAS PRE-ANALOG STICK? This shit is mind blowing! Holding X while using the directional to move? I feel like a caveman, legitimately I feel like I should go change my damn cloths into some kind of animal print and eat a fucking turkey leg right now :T
I don’t even know…
Fact: when my phone gets a twitter message or email it makes a Chocobo “wark” sound.
I dig the music in this so much. Cloud has been standing in the train station the whole time I’ve been writting with the battle “Uh Oh, Shits Goin Down” music in the background. I wish I had the sound track to listen to while driving to work. I would feel so epic, and probably get into an accident for speeding to the music.
Damn, there’s no way for me to change the O and the X button options. *insert Grumpy Cat here*
Read the following but imagine that everything that is all capital is SCREAMED or YELLED in a spaztic Cartoon Network kind of way:
Biggs: “Wow! You used to be in SOLDIER all right! … Not everyday ya find one in a group like AVALANCE.”
Jessie: “SOLDIER? Aren’t they the enemy? What’s he doing with us in AVALANCHE?”
Biggs: “Hold it, Jessie. He WAS in SOLDIER. He quit them and is now one of us. Didn’t catch your name…”
Oh, hot diggity dawg, it’s time to name Cloud! Let’s see, let’s see… how mature do we want to be…
Penis, Dick, Pussy, ‘Ass cheeks’… hmmmm, I’m rather liking ’ass cheeks’, I don’t think I’ve ever been ass cheeks before! Aww, I can’t fit it, ass cheek is going to have to do, I guess Cloud is just one cheek in the butt of life. Sephiroth can be his other ass cheek, and together they can clap after the farts of tragedy have passed.
Hmm, maybe ‘my ass’? Let’s check what the Boyfriends opinion is. He opted for ass cheek! Hokay, here we go!
I hope I don’t regret this :D
UGH! I did it as ‘ass cheek’ lower case because I thought it would look better when people said it in a sentence. I didn’t realize his name apears before he talks so the all lowercase looks really weird. Now I have to restart, I know it’s nurotic but that will forever bug the fuck out of me!
BRB while I fix this!
There we go, that took less then a minute. Also fixed it to AssCheeks, he’s a whole butt again! Figured if the A is capitalized and there’s a space then the C might be capitol and- yeah the conversation of logic in my head went way further then it should have of such a small decision! X3
Now its Barret’s turn to get a name! I wanna name him Nids after my black cat (because he’s a black man) but I’ll save that for Caitsith. Hmmmmmm, just googled “Good names for Barret Final Fantasy VII” and someone said something about Mr.T, that fits so perfect, kinda sad I didn’t realize this on my own!
Second battle! This place doesn’t just have Guards, it has fricken ROBOTIC TENTICAL PANTHER’S and Guards! Nothing says “Don’t break into this place.” like having robotic tentical panthers!
Mr. T just went inside my ass cheeks o3o (Yay for the old fashioned way of merging sprites to show someone has joined your party!)
I love the interaction! “Press that button over there.” *press* Switch On *elevator moves*
Fact: when my job calls, Final Fantasy VII battle music plays.
Got into another battle, sighed in frustration, rolled my eyes and looked at my phone. Realized it was the game playing the music and not an incoming call from work and felt stupid as fuck! ; A ;
The Guards in the Reactor can do some major squats. Their battle stance really shows they work on their core muscles.
Feel like I should build a save point out of a card board box and just place it somewhere on campus (I live by K-State) and see if people would go up and touch it.
Okay, the more Mr. T over there tells AssCheeks to do something, the more I imagin Cloud having to do everything using his butt! Like, he can’t use his hands so in order to set the bomb on the reactor he has to turn around, his butt wiggle and morphs like Jake’s from Adventure Time, and that’s what he uses to do things!
That awkward moment where you are warned “Be careful, if you attack while it’s tail’s up it’ll counter with it’s lazer.” so you just sit there and wait, and wait, and look around the room at all the cats in the house sleeping and ponder what it is you’re doing with your life on a Sunday afternoon.
Dodododo do do DO DO DOOOOOOO! Winning music, it makes me feel accomplished!
Bleh, I hate timers. This isn’t just a timer though, this thing looks like one of those old school page trackers, the one’s that you used to put on the bottom of your GeoCities or Yahoo websites to ‘track’ aka ‘show off’ how many visitors you had gotten that day.
There was once a girl named Amanda. Now, Amanda was a little dumb, blond, and her mother ran a holistic vitamin store. Amanda liked to pretend she was a gamer but truth be told she sucked at it and was just as content to watch a story then play it. Then one day this happend:
Amdanda: “I never really played Final Fantasy VII. I could never get past the beginning.”
Me: “The beginning?”
Amanda: “Yeah, I always died.”
Me: “What do you consider the beginning? Did you get to the cross-dressing part?”
Amanda: “Hmm? No, I got all the way to the part where you set the bomb to explode but then I couldn’t escape.”
Me: “At the reactor? That’s like, within the first five to ten minutes of the game.”
Amanda: “Yup, and I could never escape. The game is broken!.”
So we started up the game to see if I could figure out what the hell she was talking about and after killing the monster:
Amanda: “You’re just gonna die, theres no point, the game doesn’t work.”
Me: *continues playing and escaping, helps Jessie free her foot and suddenly hears a gasp*
Amanda: “You were supposed to help her?”
Me: “Um, yeah, she’s on your team, of course you wan’t to make sure she can escape. Why would you leave her behind?”
Amanda: “I donno, I thought she wanted to die for the cause or something.”
Me: “So basically every time you’ve played you’ve left her to die?”
Me: “That’s not very nice.”
Amanda: “We’ll Jessie isn’t very nice. What kind of name is Jessie. I can’t even tell if that thing is a boy or girl.”
Me: “Just becuase Jessie is a hermaphrodite doesn’t mean you should leave it to die in an explosion. That’s why you never escaped, Jessie has the brains of a vagina with the power of a penis, that’s the reason they can hack the doors and decipher the code so easily.”
See, I told you I had fond memories of this game! :x
Beautiful CGI and all but at this point I just want a save point so I can go get BOGO at Starbugs on their holiday drinks! Seriously people, stop the damn train, BOGO is only 2-5 and its 4:30! There we go, train stopped, now to find a save point!
Oh god! Now its time to name Tifa! I can’t handle this responsibility with BOGO hanging over my head! I’m gonna take a break and just let the ps3 chill while I run to Starbugs, then I wont feel rushed!
*One Hour Later*
Collage Town + Last Day of BOGO Starbugs + 4:30 = EXCITING!
Plus made winnies for dinner!
Tifa is now Titties!
Aeris shall be Twat!
Together they can be Titties & Twat, like Cookies & Cream! Except if I ever see that flavor in an icecream shop I am so not going to try it. Bet Baskin Robins doesn’t have that flavor on the menu :d
The question no one asks, why is Mr. T black but his daughter, Marlene, white?
Titties: “…something to drink?”
-I don’t feel like it
-Give me something hard
Answer two seems inappropriate.
It says SIN on TV in the secret meeting room! *GASP* FINAL FANTASY X FORSHADOWING!?
Titties and AssCheeks are having a memory moment, the zoom in on their pixel heads shows the wonderful world of not having a mouth or nose! Glorious!
Titties: “I waited so long I starting to get cold. My nipples were so pointy you could poke a mans eyes out with ‘em.”
All the boys we’re leaving their home town around the time Ass said he would leave to join soldier, that means only girls would be left and everyone would be lesbians like Jurassic Park!
And so, after AssCheeks got his money, he, Titties and Mr. T went on a new mission, leaving Marlene the six year old to mix drinks and sell liquor to drunks at the bar. Oddly enough that day was the highest that bar has ever done in sales.
What the… What just happened at the Train Station?! Two people standing by the lap post:
Person One: “I’ve had it.”
Person Two: “Me too.”
Person One: “You know this is the first time we’ve agreed on something.”
Person Two: “Yes.”
Person One: “You ready?”
Person Two: “…Yes.”
*then both people fell over on the ground and the only further sound they would make were ‘urggh…….’*
Did they just randomly suicide infront of me?! I DON’T UNDERSTAND!
A flying fish robot cast Hell Bubble, that sounds like an adorably evil attack! Now that I’ve gotten a better look at these creatures I shall name them Rape Fish, because they invade your personal bubble and hump your chest when they attack!
Why do RPG’s give you an option to Take Everything or not? Why would you leave something behind? There’s no weight capacity like in Fallout 3 so it doesn’t hurt to horde the universe! Okay, literatly just got Deadly Waste as an item, this is probably flushed poop from the sewers, now I understand why you probably shouldn’t pick up EVERYTHING that drops during a battle. :
AssCheeks keeps having psychic moments in these Reactors. I think the Mako in them brings out his EPS(N)!
How it happened:
AssCheeks: “Long time no see, President.”
President: “…Long time no see?” Oh… you.”
How I read it:
AssCheeks: “Long time no see, President!”
President; “…Long time no see? Oh you!”
President Shinra: “Tell me traitor, what was your name?”
President Shinra: “Forgive me for asking, but I can’t be expected to remember each person’s name.”
AssCheeks: “Dude… srsly?”
How many names are more memorable then AssCheeks?! I would remember a dude named AssCheeks over someone named Sephiroth anyday!
Final Fantasy VII vs The Little Mermaid
What it said:
President Shinra: “I’m a very busy man, so if you’ll excuse me…”
What I read:
President Shinra: “I’m a very busy woman, and I haven’t got all day, it wont cost much, just your voice.”
Ooooh, Boss Battle music! All the limit breaks happened! But then Mr. T died.
Aeris Flower Lesson of the Day: It’s okay to step, roll, crush, dance or fall on church flowers because their more resilient since they are full of holy power!
Aeris: “…So we meet again.”
Aeris: “…Don’t you remember?”
AssCheeks: “Yeah, I remember…”
-You were selling flowers
-You’re the slum drunk
How I wish it played out:
AssCheeks: “You’re the slum drunk.”
Aeris: “I-I sell flowers!”
AssCheeks: “Yeah, alcoholic flowers.”
Time to name Aeris! How about we spice things up? Instead of just Twat, how about Twat-cake?
So this just happend:
Joy (friend): How about Twatwaffle?
Kiwi: meh, thats to common
Kiwi: everyone waffles with a twat
Kiwi: plus i only have five spaces after Twat
Kiwi: Maybe I should just keep it a basic Twat
Joy: it’s a classic
Joy: you really can’t go wrong
Stoat (the boyfriend): Twat gets poked with a sword :x
Stoat: So hard
Kiwi (me): stabbed
Stoat: it kills her :x
Kiwi: not just poked
Kiwi: damn thing was to big
Kiwi: went right through her
Well, we wanna keep this classy so Twat it is! I didn’t realize she was such a shameless flirt! “I’ll go on a date with you instead of giving you money if you’ll be my body guard.”
Reno appeared! I used to have a crush on him to. He’s the only red haired male, functional or not, that atm doesn’t repulse me.
While running away from the Shinra Mafia there was a battle vs what seems to be obese pygmy dinosaurs? WTF are you doing in a church @PygmyDinosaur
Totally cheated and had to watch a YouTube video on which barrels to press in order to save Twat. I don’t handle life or death pressure well without a walkthrough! Surprised I made it through life this far without one!
Fact: My regular ringtone is chocobo music.
Yup, I’m using instagram to upload photos for etsy.